Soul mates: Make them or meet them?


In religion, in life, in love – we are taught that we are created with a soul mate out there and we spend years building ourselves, preparing us for when we can finally meet them and make a life together but I am starting to question what this ‘soul mate story’ means anymore.

Is it that we make a soul mate? Or are we just in our architecture a perfect fit? And if it were the later, why is it that all successful relationship are based on some sort of compromise, tolerance etc – and that stands true for every relationships, friendship, family and so on. We are not all the same, not even children in the same family, so it would only be fair to acknowledge that, cherish the similarities, respect the differences and find what makes people great together.

But here’s what I am think thinking…. Do we make soul mates or meet them?

Most difficult of difficulties..


We’ve all seen hardships, challenges, difficulties and problems which life throws at us – They make life what it is – An exciting yet precarious journey.

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Today I got thinking about the great and not so great things that happen in life and I realised that the things that infuriate you the most are the ones which you can do nothing about.

It is straight forward going through a problem with a solution known to you and in your control. You might have to work really really hard, you might have to give up hours or people or things you have but it helps to know how to reach a solution. In my life I have always seen challenges, milestones and every single day as a process. You find problems, you find their solutions, you celebrate, you enjoy and you find another one to solve. But all this sounds great!

It gets really stirring when there are things in life that you can do nothing about. You can’t decide or predict when and who you will meet, or if you would fall sick or recover, or if you will fall in love with a place or person, or change how someone thinks or feels and you can’t change timing of things… It is most difficult to wait for things to pan out not knowing how they would; waiting for destiny play out!

What we can learn from the Gentlemen…


From time to time, I self-evaluate myself, my life and everything around me which I can have an impact on. So that I could try and be my better self every single day. I have been observing and thinking and I came across some striking and very constructive habits, predominantly possessed by men, don’t get me wrong, some women do too, but I believe it comes naturally to men while women have to strive to develop these habits, like myself. While these habits have constructive implications for most things we do in life, I see them as vital for career progression and growth, especially in a work force which is more or less a ‘man’s world’ (Its changing!). So here’s the two of my favourite ones:

Solve the problem
They say sometimes when women talk about their problems, they don’t want solutions, they just want to be listened to. That’s alright as long as the one you share your problems with is limited to a trusted, close few. But we do this at work and in social circles excessively, women or men neither is it appealing nor constructive. Infact many would see it as a waste of time. If you can appreciate that there is a problem, don’t just leave it there – Take it, twist it, shake it, break it – Do whatever until you make peace with it. If it happens so, that there is nothing you can do about it, then is it really worth your time to discuss it?
Having said that to even understand or recognize a problem you must hear and say – but excessively complaining about things doesn’t seem like the most productive use of time, when you could rather be changing and shaking things.

Be full of yourself
It’s an absurd thing to say but I have seen way too many women shy to own their successes and achievements. The idea is: If you don’t believe in yourself, who will? You have got to start believing in your abilities and your decisions. And above all you need to know that you deserve what you are striving for. Sure, you learn from others, you need the luck, prayers and blessings, support from others etc but in the end YOU need to make things happen. Self-awareness is a gift, you need to know your strengths and your weaknesses, and especially when it comes you career you have got to build the former and manage the later. Personally, I find power posing to be an excellent help in this department.
Both of these habits, I believe, would make us more constructive, productive, happy and successful individuals and professionals. But these, with everything else, need to be adopted in moderation. No one wants to know or work with an arrogant bully or a complete bore.

On that note, keep learning from everything and everyone!

Wrecked with gratefulness


I always thought to myself that when great things happen in life, there is only one way to react to it. To do more, work harder, give more back.. But then there are moments in life when that is no longer sufficient. And words cannot describe how lucky I feel to be able to feel that way, may be just now, may be for a moment, but I am eternally grateful.

 

And I found this feeling not in but amidst of my milestones, not on an occasion but only on a walk back from home when a kind gesture from shopkeeper just made me stop and realise how life has showered me with blessings so much lately. Everything I was worried about is starting to fall in place, things I was sceptical about are starting to make sense, things I wanted to do are finally working out and I am among people who are ever so kind.

 

But moments of realisation like this bring a weird sense of helplessness, there is not even the urge to want to give back and work harder (but I shall try), because you can never ever do so much that would be enough and then all you can do is thank and thank and thank. I am so grateful!

Things money can’t buy


Life’s coming to a point where things that happen and decisions I seem so much more meaningful and closer than ever to self-actualisation. And as this happens I realise that among the things that you cannot buy, the most important one is time. There’s only so much of it you get in one lifetime, in one place, at one age, in one phase and there’s anything you can do it (what a liberating feeling that is!), and even a more liberating feeling is choosing to spend that time on immeasurable, meaningful things in life, which might only make sense to you and now.

But as long as you have done justice to every second you have spent, bringing you happiness, building you as a person, adding value to your life – you’ll never look back and wished you had done it differently.

I think the realisations and moments like these are about to increase anyway as I move home, when I would spend time doing things which I can never get back in time. Seeing my nephews grow up, being with parents, celebrating milestones with people I share history with and hopefully making some history of my own which is worth remembering. After a really long time I am feeling excited about what’s ahead, as opposed to sceptical and anxious. Need to hold on to this feeling real tight!

Wonders in Diversity


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There is no doubt that the notion of diversity in organisations, institutions and societies is the new ‘in’ thing, especially in places like London. The lessons of acceptance and humanity that diverse societies bring are invaluable and it maximizes our horizon of what is meant by cultures and values, primarily by the means of focusing on differences we see in different backgrounds. The word ‘diversity’ in itself originates from different, unique and variation.

But what I experienced of diversity today was very different from any of these mainstream ideas suggest. Undoubtedly, I do enjoy meeting people from different backgrounds which sometimes surprises you by the variation of kind of ideas people hold. But having heard story of my own limitations, values, ambitions and inhibitions from another fellow colleague from completely different background (which I never imagined to share the same problems and perks as me) made me realise how the focus of diversity only on ‘different’ is extremely unfair, biased and off-putting. In a completely diverse individuals in terms of backgrounds, I had found the exact ambitions and problems as mine, which I have to say are not very common even from the people that share the same background as mine.

It made me realise how the culturally and ethnically diverse communities not only allow us to look beyond the backgrounds and differences but also give us the chance to cherish what we have in common, the extent of which can sometimes surprise you!

While there is difficulty in adjusting with different people (along with excitement about learning from those differences), there is so much comfort in finding out so much that joins rather than what separates you. The most influential language that exists is of humanity and everything else including thoughts, values, wants, needs and desires can be built on that.

Exploring Wales


What a beautiful weekend I have had in Wales (Newport and Cardiff) staying at a friend’s place, which made me realise that family is not just who you have blood relations with but those who stick to your side without being bound by blood and those who make you feel at home even though you might not actually be. The trip reminded me of my own family, the lame jokes, pointless laughters, delicious cuisines, midnight cravings and what not.. But this blog is not about all of that, this is about my experience of exploring Wales.

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Wales is beautiful, with its endless forests and greenery ideal for biking, jogging and long drives. If you are planning to go Newport you should remember that you would need to go Cardiff to enjoy more urban pleasures of restaurants, spas, beauty salons etc. Newport although has other things to offer like the forest drives where there are parks and lakes where one could bike or make BBQ. It has beautiful views and fresh air (you would feel this different especially if you are going from a busy city like London). You could also go strawberry picking in the Newport farms and be sure to witness cattle, horses and cows in the farms located in different parts of the city.

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Cardiff, being only about 25 minutes’ drive away from Newport, is more urbanized city in Wales. It has most offices, restaurants, shopping outlets and attractions. The Cardiff Bay has a beautiful sunset view, with restaurants on the riverside. If you come by the day you can also go for boating in the Cardiff Bay. There are also the Cardiff Palace and official buildings for those interested in sightseeing.

All in all, it is breathe of fresh air from the busy urban environment, allowing you to sit back, relax and enjoy the nature. The houses in the area are relatively more spacious, with bigger gardens and living is reasonably priced.

Happy traveling folks!