Ada Ferrer-i-Carbonell’s research finds that “there is an asymmetry in the way people compare themselves with others. We tend to look exclusively at those better off than us, rather than contemplate our position within the full range of outcomes. When the lot of others improves, we react negatively, but when our own lot improves, we shift our reference group to those who are still better off. In other words, we are never satisfied, since we quickly become accustomed to our own achievements. Perhaps that is what spurs people to earn more, and economies to grow.”
Not very often that I feel too strongly about ‘most’ feminist agendas because I see an ideal world to be accommodating for both genders, as opposed to equal for both genders, but financial freedom and financial ambition is something I have felt very strongly about and all of it came back to me when I came across an article on LinkedIn called ‘Message for Women in Business: Its Okay to Love Money‘. This struck a cord with me as I remember being told, ‘its not your job to earn money’. Well, its noone’s birth right to do or don’t, its a choice – a choice people, men and women, should be able to make. Both men and women can choose to dedicate their time to building a fortune, or volunteering to something humanitarian, or both.
What makes me sad about this article, is that its intended for women only, which makes sense because men who love money are called ambitious, powerful, even arrogant (God knows when that became a compliment?). Now, by no means do I suggest earning money with wrongful means is justified (however you might define that), but its okay to have financial goals, ambitions and to work for it, for everyone, if that’s what makes you happy because at the end of the day, its not just money you’re trying to earn, its the ability to live well, experience life and make things happen.
Choosing between jobs and comparing the offers to my dream job, I am starting to wonder if I need to do what everyone else is doing, to be able to do what I really want to do? Choosing jobs has been relatively easier so far, as I knew they wouldn’t last once I finish grad school, but now choosing the ‘one’ has got me contemplating what I can do and what I want to do.
Ofcourse, you pick the most exciting and rewarding option, but would this bring you closer to finding that dream opportunity of a lifetime? Would it lead you into finding new things you enjoy working on? Would it completely drift you away from what was once the dream? Or do you wait until you find just what you wanted?
Even though, I ‘ve got lots of wondering and thinking to do, but the point really is to make the best of everything that comes your way, exhaust your potential completely and wonderfully in whatever way ‘possible’ and hopefully discover, meet people, learn ideas, which will show you what you stand for in five or ten years. And maybe there is a reason that people do what they do, making norms. I wouldn’t want to be complete handicapped by the norms and I have always had the freedom to think within and beyond them, but I am starting to understand why people do what they do.
So many questions to answer and mysteries to solve. Is this the beginning of my quarter life crisis?
They say change is scary, but as the time goes by I realise more and more that the scariest thing in the world is to stay still and get tied down in a moment forever. Life has so much to offer, we’re not meant to spend our whole lives doing one thing in one place. How else would we learn? Life is about reaching your full potential. Noone’s ever done that without experimenting, trying, failing and ‘living’.
Today has been an interesting day in our household. On my way back from work my brother called me to say his wallet had gone missing. It wasn’t the biggest surprise to me as it was in his pocket and he was in train which was packed in peak hours. And I guess it happens sometimes – Lucky he didn’t have much cash in the wallet, still he had lots of cards to block, renew and replace.
We were only just fretting over getting this done that my brother got a notification on his Instagram, that he had been tagged in a photo. Shockingly, it was picture of his wallet and he was tagged by a girl he had never heard or seen before. She said he should contact her and take the wallet off her. Turns out he had dropped his wallet while he was on the train and this kind lady had found it there and then looked for my brother on Instagram from his name and photo ID. My brother messaged her and he couldn’t have been more thankful, and later this week they will meet to have his wallet returned.
This episode gave me a reality check of how technology has changed our lives and it make me think why we talk so much about how is has made our lives complicated, occupied and inhumane – sometimes I think we lack a sense of positivity and we forget to think about all the great things it makes us capable of doing. Even if the lady had found the wallet, there was no way of her contacting my brother unless she went to his university and got his details, which would have meant so much effort and time. I think technology has amplified our habits, capabilities and it is helping us reach our potentials, while we still learn to completely and effectively incorporate it into our lives. So the people who are kind, have greater opportunities to do something good with their increased accessibility and connectivity and people who are not, they wouldn’t be any different without technology either.
Today I am proud to be born in this era of technological advancements.
We’ve all seen hardships, challenges, difficulties and problems which life throws at us – They make life what it is – An exciting yet precarious journey.
Today I got thinking about the great and not so great things that happen in life and I realised that the things that infuriate you the most are the ones which you can do nothing about.
It is straight forward going through a problem with a solution known to you and in your control. You might have to work really really hard, you might have to give up hours or people or things you have but it helps to know how to reach a solution. In my life I have always seen challenges, milestones and every single day as a process. You find problems, you find their solutions, you celebrate, you enjoy and you find another one to solve. But all this sounds great!
It gets really stirring when there are things in life that you can do nothing about. You can’t decide or predict when and who you will meet, or if you would fall sick or recover, or if you will fall in love with a place or person, or change how someone thinks or feels and you can’t change timing of things… It is most difficult to wait for things to pan out not knowing how they would; waiting for destiny play out!
The reason I chose to blog about these two movies together is because I think they overlap in so many different ways and because I think they are probably among the best movies I have ever watched.
I don’t usually blog about movies or review them, but these two have inspired me, moved me and left me thinking. They are both about competition, legacy and what makes their impact so strong is the fact that they are based on true stories. I have always found that movies with real stories to help me connect with it, so I can take away something by the end of the two hours.
There’s three intriguing notions the movies left me with. First, is the willingness to compete and be the best. The funny thing is that success stops being about money and enjoyment after a while, it becomes something you associate, identify and define yourself with. Second, is about how you succeed, and that is to know your thing, simply! The more you know about something, the better you will be. And the greatest thing about that is that you do not need to have always been flawless or look great to do that, that’s one thing we don’t see very often in fictional scripts. And last is that having said and seen so much about success and competition, at the end of the day it’s the families, friendships and their memories that we are left with.
So, I am highly recommending both these amazing movies!