Only a few days ago, I was surprised when I spoke to my father after making a really difficult decision and he confessed to me that he had been inaccessible on purpose for the days when I needed to get his opinion, until I did finally make my decision. I was puzzled thinking why he had behaved like this, given the kind of protective background I come from where I seek approval on everything major or minor from my parents, oh well generally. And then he told me…. he wanted me to make my decision on my own, no matter how difficult the situation would have been and to take responsibility for what I had decided in favour of and he was there to only watch over what I did and direct me in the right direction ONLY if I had not done so already (which thankfully was not the case). And I realised that this wasn’t about that one decision that I was supposed to make, but an ideology of how one must learn.
Life is all about learning. We spend a good 17 years of our lives on average formally getting educated at a school, college or university; many of us even beyond that. But thinking in real terms, we really never stop learning and parenthood is the purest and most essential form of teaching, which impacts everything in life that we do.
I realised that what my father had done was not merely aimed at making me own up to that decision, infact this was an ideology of how he had taught us everything else too. This takes me back to when he taught us to swim as kids. He taught us to float and once we had learnt to do that; he threw us on the deeper end and watched us struggle and swim back up. Ofcourse, he caught us whenever we couldn’t. This did two things for us; first was to take away the fear of drowning (even though the first few times we were thrown into the deeper end, we were petrified!) and the second is that all of us siblings turned out to be great swimmers!
So, it doesn’t mean we never make mistakes or be terrified or caught up in problems; but it does mean that we learn to take ourselves out of those troubles and own our decisions and he is always there to make sure we never ‘drown’ in life. So, the best way to learn is really to try, may be fail or get scared & confused; but keep at it until you are not anymore!