Albert Einstein righteously said ‘If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not people or objects’. One of the most popular and sad realities of the developed capitalist world is materialism, that compromises on both the value of people and goals/ beliefs. Acceptance, friends, family and love is a need for everyone but when you tie happiness with people- (All the people) – Things get difficult. This blog post is based on facing the people, standing up for what you believe in and expecting what is real!
Someone once said ‘you cannot make a few good friends without making any enemies’. And it is interesting how that works! Diplomacy is very important when interacting with people but expecting that you would be liked by everyone for everything that you do, is unrealistic. If you are going to stand up for your beliefs and values, if you are going to do something in your life and if you are going to be someone & have your own identity, you are going to have to deal with people who reject of what you believe in, there is going to be resistance. I remember reading a story as a kid titled ‘the man who tried to please everybody could not please anybody’.
This definitely does not direct towards becoming materialistic and disorienting yourself from people. People are important, we are social beings- but focusing on the right people and in the right way is very important. When you face resistance from people and situations in general, go through your behavior and line of action and see if it’s aligned with your beliefs, values, morals or for me: religion. And if your action satisfies your personal criteria, that’s all that matters!
It is very understandable because if you are going to be an aware intellectual, people without direction are going to disapprove of you. If you are going to be liberal minded, the conservatives are going to dislike you. If you are going to be a feminist, male domination is going to be a resistance for you. It is easier said, but in life it is difficult and disappointing to experience. The sad part is people disapprove of NOT ideas, but people who hold those ideas, which is wrong. Especially in multi-cultural societies you need to be able to hold your own values and judge others on their values or not judge at all, because not everyone has similar values or nature!
There is going to be times when you would be mocked for your honesty, when being nice is going to be your weakness, when people are going to disapprove of you for your ideas and achievements. But decide what matters and what doesn’t! Don’t let resistance stop you from achieving whatever you can. Hazat Ali says: ‘It is enough for a deceitful person that when you are happy, he’s not’. So, don’t be put off by the disappointments and difficulties brought your way by people and situations.
Arguments are important to solve problems, find out solutions, to communicate issues and so on. But you need to know who and what is and is not worth the argument. As they bluntly say: Never argue with an idiot, they are going to drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
Never let resistance stop you from being honest, righteous and for you to stand up for what you believe in. Focus on the people and situations that make you stronger, give you encouragement and love and disregard those who don’t! That’s only another hurdle between you and your goals and achievements. Life is not easy, there are no straightforward answers, not everyone is worth the effort and energy: make priorities and respect them.