Just Another Chapter..

I have been back home for a few days now, and to be fair – everyone’s been quite kind to me. So many familiar people, so much to share with them and love about them. I am sure this is going to somewhat die down once the weddings and festivities end in a few days’ time. But the truth is, it almost feels like I was never gone, it feels like I have so much more to show for my time and years gone by, we’ve all grown older and wiser (hopefully), but yet we love and live like we always have.

It feels like I am in a safe place, when I am here – lesser to worry about, but I definitely need to get on my own two feet soon and get my life onto a purposeful path. Having said all of this, I also realised today what the bitterest thing about being back was: approval. As I have so many around me who love and relate to me and are with me through each day, they happen to take this upon themselves to quality and approve mine and each other’s decisions and lives. Similarly, they share all the happiness and sorrows.

A deeper thought into this makes me wonder if this is just specific to the culture in Pakistan, or may be no matter where you had all your family and friends, there will be expectations and those who meet them, and those who don’t.

It’s just another great chapter of life, with its own highs and lows – All I can say is that I have no regrets because I have lived and loved every bit of it, so far…

Milestone: My First Flying Lesson

I have wanted to fly a plane since I can’t even remember when. I think the desire has to do with the fact that my father is a pilot and I have always been awestruck by the sense of freedom and control that flying entails. And I am ecstatic to have finally done it, or atleast have started my journey towards it.

Today I had my first flying lesson at the Elstree Aerodrome in London with Ivan, an instructor from the Flight Training London on the Piper Warrior. I was surprised by the amount of maneuvers he taught me and let me experiment right away. I learnt to take off, climb and decline aircraft altitude, turn on the ground in taxi and in the air and approach for landing. Landing although was tricky and I didn’t do much in that bit, but I didn’t expect to either the first time I flew.

That’s another one checked on my list 🙂

Perfect Preacher

Only a few days ago, I was surprised when I spoke to my father after making a really difficult decision and he confessed to me that he had been inaccessible on purpose for the days when I needed to get his opinion, until I did finally make my decision. I was puzzled thinking why he had behaved like this, given the kind of protective background I come from where I seek approval on everything major or minor from my parents, oh well generally. And then he told me…. he wanted me to make my decision on my own, no matter how difficult the situation would have been and to take responsibility for what I had decided in favour of and he was there to only watch over what I did and direct me in the right direction ONLY if I had not done so already (which thankfully was not the case). And I realised that this wasn’t about that one decision that I was supposed to make, but an ideology of how one must learn.

Life is all about learning. We spend a good 17 years of our lives on average formally getting educated at a school, college or university; many of us even beyond that. But thinking in real terms, we really never stop learning and parenthood is the purest and most essential form of teaching, which impacts everything in life that we do.

I realised that what my father had done was not merely aimed at making me own up to that decision, infact this was an ideology of how he had taught us everything else too. This takes me back to when he taught us to swim as kids. He taught us to float and once we had learnt to do that; he threw us on the deeper end and watched us struggle and swim back up. Ofcourse, he caught us whenever we couldn’t. This did two things for us; first was to take away the fear of drowning (even though the first few times we were thrown into the deeper end, we were petrified!) and the second is that all of us siblings turned out to be great swimmers!

So, it doesn’t mean we never make mistakes or be terrified or caught up in problems; but it does mean that we learn to take ourselves out of those troubles and own our decisions and he is always there to make sure we never ‘drown’ in life. So, the best way to learn is really to try, may be fail or get scared & confused; but keep at it until you are not anymore!

My Saviours, My Angels

I remember how you never let my hand go even when I was the weakest. People thought I would never make it but you gave me hope for life from your sweat and tears. Being at such a long distance from you I wish sometimes I could just fly in a moment and be there with you. And I know how I am away from my angels because what they would want is nothing but the best for me and my life. The life I have now, achievements to boast about, capabilities to make use of, people to love and luxuries to enjoy, none of them are my achievements- Its all theirs, my parents. Its what they made us as human beings, giving us more than we can ever ask for.

 

The respect and love goes beyond what their sacrifices for their children have been. Its the lives they have lived, building everything together from scratch, setting an example through every dimension of life. They say it right, one should never forget where they came from and never lose focus of where they are going. As I progress with another day that I owe nothing to my own efforts, but to the platform they both provided me with- I cannot help but have my heart melt for the selflessness of those angels, without whom my world would be nothing worth living in.

 

Couldn’t love & thank my parents enough ❤